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Hush...Hush, Sweet Charlotte ('Brawny' Bob Aldrich, 1964)
If you think it is bad form to offend people then it follows that you cannot so much as set a foot down anywhere in this wobbly world. People will make a garbled hodgepodge of the most crystalline of statements. 99.9% of the time we offend people by accident. It’s not so much that you are expected to police yourself as it is that you are supposed to police your own policing until it’s an infinite regress and you’re face down in your meat pie come suppertime, fixin’ to die. Our superego does not have room for the excess cargo of every last Timothy or Tallulah because we need it to guide ourself with and not get splattered all over the statuary while we’re at it. If God wanted you to please people he would not have had you go around erect on two feet like an absolute twat. And now you know that you know it. You’re welcome. In 1964’s Hush...Hush, Sweet Charlotte, his droll and macabre followup to smash camp success What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? from ’62, Robert Aldrich replaces Joan Crawford with two Bette Davis foils—as he’d pretty much have to do—in the form of cold and controlled Olivia de Havilland, far more selfish and insensitive than she’d ever want to let on, and desiccated wood nymph Agnes Moorehead who would appear to be playing her character from The Magnificent Ambersons (1942) after twenty years more worth of all-paid visits to the Funny Farm with its psychoactive drugs and limp, disinterested hugs. “You're a vile, sorry little bitch!,” yells Bette Davis all caked-up in fright makeup and with impossibly wide eyes aghast at all earthly impertinence, and though everything seems to set her off and stress management will never be one of her registered/marketable skills, all dressed up for Halloween as Wounded Spiralling Arrested Adolescence as she forever is, it seems like it would be easier to be bat shit crazy like Bette Davis than criminally conniving and soulless like Olivia de Havilland…at least insofar as Hush...Hush, Sweet Charlotte presents a case for being either. In interviews, de Havilland always said that Bette Davis was the greatest actress of all time by far and that she was also invariably the most intimidating person in any room that could hold her. Being around Davis made de Havilland feel like her head might explode. That’s interesting, isn’t it? You see, it finds its way decisively into the scene work. Onscreen and visibly, Olivia de Havilland walks on eggshells around Bette Davis. Not because Olivia de Havilland is afraid of Bette Davis. No. She is afraid of not measuring up or, even worse, tripping herself up. Because of how ridiculous Bette Davis’s behaviour is, de Havilland is always and understandably a little annoyed, concerned, and confused all at once, at the same time hoping to retain the poker face that is her first and final leverage. Actresses very often have to pretend to have their feelings hurt, but when Olivia de Havilland’s feelings get hurt so do yours. She has watery eyes that seem forever on the verge of unabashed weeping and just looking at her eyes on a movie screen is almost enough sometimes to get a person going themselves. Occasionally we remember that tears can be ejaculatory. Little Olivia had to know as much as any man about worldly things in order to pull the wool over the eyes of Bette Davis and to earn the grande dame’s respect in the process…and earn it she sure did. As smart and in command as a business executive walking her beat, Olivia de Havilland further played the part by always having some hilarious off-colour jokes on hand to share with the boys. Crews adored her. There are lots of good blooper clips of her on set saying things like “goddamn!” and “son of a bitch!” It is because of how stately and composed she always is that we adore seeing that surface ruffled, if only for a moment. Sometimes the moment of truth is a cuss word. It’s like the amusement and delight you feel when you push the mean, sadistic school teacher past their breaking point and they suddenly go physically slack and say fuck my life.
