Friday, July 12, 2024

His and Hers


- Tear it all down, girl.

- Well, if it isn't the Leprechaun Dog his rangy self. How about some English dubbing for the attention impaired, buster? I'd caution you to pause and reflect before proceeding. And don't fidget.

- Not gonna lie to you, baby, we are absolutely going to engender a large-scale catastrophe, but it will also be the birth of something new. Or else we blew it. Like in Easy Rider. Or Point Blank. A couple years earlier. A guy says that in Point Blank too. "We blew it."

- Who will think of the people of Yawooza? Bring that smelly shit over here, mister. Slip me the sizzler, my ass hoisted in game accord. 

- It's about time we brought in Ol' Stumpy Whisplash from up Fort St. John way.

- Both the right kind of attention and the wrong kind of attention are hellbent attention; indifference is dispassionate. Please don't do me any derogatory speech.

- Lean over the counter and let me have a view of the moon.

- A real man wants to lay with his compliment or other half rather than 'some piece' or a series of interchangeable wenches. Now give me some space, I have to get ready. It's a big gig tonightwe're on the bill with Pussy Drano and DJ Jizzy Jeep.

- I am writing a book for Cambridge University Press on the tragic story of babies with hideous congenital illnesses.

- Now get this! A pussy that sucks your dick! As-salamu alaykum.

- I'm starting to think I'm punching outside my class with a mighty fine piece of ass. I desire dearly to sniff your crotch.

- Some people tell me I look like Jean Peters.

- Bless you, you are indeed a curvy lass with a curvy ass.

- Fudge. Born and gone to hell. Let's all have a glorious summer!

- You have the legs of Faye Dunaway.

- Mister, you better know that if I turn you on you're gonna start doing what you were made to do, got me? Ha. I knew it! What do you think I'm looking at right now? Confusion, humiliation, and impotent rage. And it sure ain't pretty.

- You don't understand. Wherein lies the problem? I don't get together with people who have boyfriends and husbands. Those are the kinds of ghosts you need to worry about haunting you.

- No certainties in life. But bad prognostics. We need to be as a raging fire upon this earth. Through the dinky dimly.

-This is not a problem I have previously had often. But I have had this problem.

- Sometimes destiny will hold you still and make you wait. A principle and a law. Relevant especially to times of war and revolution. Slip me the meat and I'll be back on my feet.

- Mack Truck McGlintock don't take no shit. A hearse with a nurse in reverse. Everyday working people like you and me.

- Golly, Joan the Maiden sure has let herself go!

- I am afraid that this is not the sort of reception to which I'm accustomed. I prayed, you know, very earnestly, so I expected things to go more smoothly here. Did you know that prayer is interactive electrical network activity? I am not going to go and adopt values that are not my own purely for your convenience and self-satisfaction. And if you do not give me what I want I am going into caveman mode.

- You're being refreshingly frank.

- People say I'm unfuckable. I'm profoundly disgusted that they imagine I might want to fuck them.

- Lunch today is electro-shock pastry cock. What's it gonna be, dump truck?

- I'll slip you the ol' Stinky Rodriguez.

- The switchboards are jammed.

- Hey there Ichabod Crane, would you like to see my pussy-licking game? I wouldn't bother trying to ask for help if I was which I ain't. Take the pressure off of waiting by mastur-a-bating.

- I don't know yet. I just ate a whole mess of pork and beans.

- I'm gambling with my life, but who isn't? In God's promise of abundance hereafter there is implicit a guarantee of beaucoup pussy.

- You my one and only diggy doggy slap pappy.

- May I bend your ear in a manner most sincere?

- It's so hot I can't think. I need my teeth fixed and my butt squished. If you were my eternal love you would do everything with a good deal more panache indeed.

- The foreskin is a magic memory machine-toy of occult nature.

- I want to beat Susan's ass. You probably don't know her. I've basically had it with this heat. I'm getting out of here. In this heat you'd be as limp as a soggy french fry. A'ight, Valley of the Ultrastuds?

- It's not that I can't make the first move. It's that we make a couple moves and then I don't know where we are anymore.

- I'm moving to Santa Fe.

- Well, don't employ the death drive unless you really, really have to.

- Be nice, mister. Nicer.

- Put me in a dysfunctional situation and watch everything go to pieces.

- My therapist says I have to work on my caretaking.

- Caretake this dick. 

- You're cute. But, once again, no.

   

 

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