Pulse
We needn’t go any further if you’d prefer to stop and rest
If hypothermia kills you it’s probably for the best
Gargantua and Pantagruel make a feast of sermons
You’ve got a flask of bourbon tucked inside your vest
Will you turn it over freely or do I need to further inspect?
Submit to me not your complaints, dear sir
Swirling in infernal ashes it were not me what stirred.
Impulses and compulsions pulse with the beat of the heart
Several totalities compartmentalized in your back yard
I think you’ve been tampering
With the numbers on the score card
Doing wheelies with your golf cart
In the apple orchard
Silver Surfer Adonis in steel-toe boots
Went to university so he could shoot hoops.
Bernie Esposito was a Uruguayan pimp
Carved up the face of a man who called him ‘simp’
Neither Great Ape nor even Prize Chimp
They dissolved Bernie Esposito in acid
His last words were bitterly sarcastic
They filmed the whole thing.
Impulses and compulsions frozen in amber
What once did nobly pulse now utterly engulfed
Whatever genuinely attracts the eye and the mind
Can be expected to draw funding every time.
Submit to me not your complaints, dear sir
Swirling in infernal ashes it were not me what stirred.
Can We Siamese In-Between?
Me, I work for my Do Re Mi
Down at Woody Guthrie Heavy Industry
A lifetime supply of gruelling mayhem
Spread out over a thin slice of ham
A thin slice of ham for the everyman
Whether he’s spreading his bunk
Or locked in a trunk, Podunk
Cut off at the only angle
He had not thunk
Broken ribs and eyes sunk.
Can we Siamese in-between?
Baby, mine is a perfectly good spleen
Here for a good time, not a long one, dig?
Love is like uranium poising
Love is like the six-pack ring
That strangles the Canada goose
While vultures eat scraps of carrion
Off the rails of the caboose.
A Constant Irrigation of the Nerves
Of interest to you in your earthly subsistence
All who might perk up their ears and have a good listen
Yes, a song that belongs to every ear
As I believe the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle
Makes clear.
Exclaim your mad silent exclamation,
Zipper Lips.
I was smiling ear to ear, got up in Safari gear
In Douglas Sirk autumn colours
You were the rust on the mind’s prone behind
In outraged impudence I rewind
Here! Have yourself a good gander, Jezebel
The gold in the autumn landscape
Was stolen from your teeth
Doing the rounds wearing a Christmas wreath.
Onward, club-footed Christian solider
Scowering the slums for ‘strange’
Over by the koi pond tryin’ to get laid
Onward to Turkmenistan and death
How many cyanide capsules do you guys
Think that you’ve got left?
We don’t have enough gasoline
To power a treble clef.
A constant irrigation of the nerves
Is where my pelvis swerves
Elvis the Pelvis, bitches
Swingin’ away from crass aspersions
Cast by petulant nerds
Who can only eat their food
Once they’ve covered it in adverbs.
For shame, dilettante
Did they not have any better fonts?
I’m in the jacuzzi with my ukulele
And my best lady
Don’t you know?
The mattress may be foam
But mamma, this sure feels like home.
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