Epstein Probably Killed Himself

 

I may well be the one free-thinking dude, wily of imagination, who thinks that Jeffery Epstein probably killed himself. It’s not actually complicated at all. This man was almost certainly at least at one time an intelligence agent specializing in high-level extortion and his life intersected increasingly publicly with both politics and organized crime. Ironically, I believe that one of the things they did on his gross and weirdly public island, aside from having sex with underaged girls, was watch seriously fucked-up surveillance footage from around the globe. In Japan, a man like that who has been arrested and placed in a temporary holding cell would be full-on obligated to kill himself or there would be red hot hell to pay later, not too far down the road, and no damn ambiguity about it. The situation was more or less the same for Epstein, who was being held in the Metropolitan Correctional Center in lower Manhattan. He had not yet been tried and was therefore not in a prison. What he thought his immediate future might look like is anybody’s guess, but he knew it would be worse than death by hanging, which is definitely no picnic (it’s not like in olden times where they’d drop you from a plank and your neck would immediately break). The only people in a position to kill him and hang him up afterward would be the staff. It’s hard to do something like that without breaking limbs and leaving marks, and the staff at the Metropolitan Correctional Center aren’t trained to do that and definitely aren’t fucking paid nearly enough to do something so foolhardy even if able. To sneak professionals in to carry out the hit and then sneak them out again is not the kind of gamble lowly jailers would be inclined to participate in and no evil mastermind would be inclined to petition them to do that because it's dicey as hell. Most people who work in corrections, as I’ve already argued, are underpaid and disgruntled. The United States has a lot of prisons and jails that are above capacity and no other nation on earth comes even close. However, these are underfunded institutions in the extreme. Some conspiratorially-minded folks are inclined to claim that because certain surveillance/security cameras were out of commission this points to cover-up and tampering. Simply Google it and you will see that the security camera industry estimates that 10% to 30% of the world’s surveillance cameras are non-functional at any given time due to “hardware failure, power loss, or lack of maintenance.” You may recall that the fact that cameras weren’t working in the Pont de l’Alma tunnel in Paris when Princess Dianna died in a car wreck led to all manner of gonzo conspiratorial conjecture, when the main cause of the accident was simple and easily verifiable: her driver was speeding and intoxicated.